New Wheels!

Hey Girls-

My "window shopping" trip to Richardson Bike Mart ended up being a purchase. Isn't that how it always happens? I knew that it was time to get a new baby. I'd been having wheel problems with my current bike. The last ride that Courtney and I did ended up with me having to bail at the halfway point. Courtney did the turnaround and rode back to the car, loaded her own bike and came back to pick me up. I never mentioned it here, but FedEx Ground wasn't too kind with my bike. Peter had to true the wheel before the Danskin. It performed fine during the tri, but I had a battle with a rock (and lost) a few weeks ago and the wheel was pretty much done.

I purchased the bike used (from Donna!) a few years ago and it served me well....but it was time for something new. I ended up going with the Trek 1.2 and I'm already in love. As usual, RBM took the time to make sure everything was adjusted properly and sent me on my way. Court and I will be heading out for a long ride tomorrow morning and I'll let you know how things go.

Fatlete To Athlete

Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is."

---- German Proverb

Been thinking on some things lately... mainly my quest... my deepest desire... to be an athlete. And it scares me. There are those of you who would say but you already are an athlete... but somewhere, deep inside I think... No, I'm not, I'm a fatlete... I'm a pretender, a poser, an imposter.

The simple fact is that there is a disconnect going on here in my brain. I can't quite put my finger on it, but because I can't run a whole 5k, that somehow diminishes the fact that I finished a 5k. I keep trying to tell myself a finish is a win! And I'm starting to believe it, but damn is it hard to break bad habits. The bad habits be self doubt and negative talk.

I'm also scared that I've backed myself into a triangle shaped corner... swimming, biking, running heading up each sharp point and each sharp point poised to poke me someplace tender... a stitch in the side, a twinge in the knee, burning lungs, sore feet... what kind of crazy person embarks on a journey they know will more than likely cause physical pain and at the very least an extremely deep physical fatigue? Crazy people, that's the negative talk in my head. That's the fatlete talking... the girl who so desires to be strong and physical and accomplished...

The athlete inside me is no girl... she's a woman who knows her strengths, knows already that I am strong, I am physical, I am accomplished. The athlete within knows that I have pushed myself to lengths I didn't know I had inside of me in the last few years. The athlete inside of me gets up off the couch and goes for a bike ride or a run or a walk at the very least. The athlete inside of me is the clear winner when I struggle, and I mean struggle deep within my soul about making myself go to the gym and then I actually end up in the gym.

The secret is though... that once I'm there, I'm kind of happy to be there. I feel a sense of accomplishment, I feel good, I like it... but the fatlete, that cynical bitch... seriously, I can talk myself down from a good workout high like you wouldn't believe. I walk away from the gym and I'm all happy and endorphiny and as I walk to my car, I feel the fatigue start to set in, and suddenly my shoulders are drooping, and my gym bag weighs a ton, and putting one foot in front of another seems so laborious... I just start thinking negative thoughts about why can't I just take this in stride, why does it wear me out so deeply, why do I want to give up my social life for this, why do I want a life where I go to bed at 9:00 because I'm so deeply tired.

I want the negative talk gone... it's doing me no good, it does nothing but cause me discomfort, distress, self doubt. It's so easy to get lost in that awful vortex, swimming against currents, riding uphill, running out of breath. When you talk yourself out of doing an event or even just out of going to a spin class... because you think you can't. But most times you can.

It's my inner athlete giving me this big pep talk... talking me up and making me excited about training for something... it's the fatlete that keeps telling me you're not ready, you can't do that, you'll fall on your face, you'll hurt yourself.

There is a triathlon in Claremore, Oklahoma... in October. Logically, I'm not ready. Mentally, I'm scared to death. Physically, I could keep moving, but it won't be fast. At what point do I just take the plunge... I'm never going to be 100% ready to barrell down this path... There will always be an event I'm scared of... a marathon, an Iron Man, an ultramarathon, a 100 mile ride... and yeah, maybe I'll never do those things... but I'll never know what I can do until I just get out there and try (or maybe I should say tri).

Time to banish the fatlete... no more inner athlete... just all over athlete... I believe in consistency, I believe in strength, I believe in power, I believe in me.

More Oly Inspiration...

Hey Divas-

I ran across this story today and thought I'd share. Who doesn't love inspirational stories?!? I hope you all have a great weekend!

Natalie du Toit

Welcome New Meat!

Hey there "New Meat" --- Hope you don't mind, but I'll call you Julie. We no longer Haze our new members of team Tri Diva.

About firsts... I'll share. Oh, wait. Not those firsts! ;)

Olga is right... you're not a cyclist until your first fall! I like to think I did mine right. I fell gracefully, at a stop sign with a pickup truck of high school kids right next to me. How's that for embarrassing?

Anyway, just wanted to say "welcome" to the team!

As of everything else, I've been in Alabama at my mother-in-laws for the last 4 days, where everything is centered around food. We eat breakfast, and no sooner do we finish the last bite, she's talking about lunch. I can't really do a lot of sugar, but I've been testing the waters... I feel like I've been on a sugar high for the last 2 days. My detox will start the moment we pull out of this driveway.

I've been watching the Olympics (In fact the tri is on in the background). After interviews with Dara Torres, I swear I feel that at almost 41 myself, that anything is possible. I'm not saying I'm going to be an Olympic athlete, but it is inspiring nonetheless.

I look forward to getting home and hitting my training. Still up in the air about Benbrook. I want to do it -- I haven't given up on it totally yet. The big deal is that I have to take a day off of work since the Tri is on Sunday -- Otherwise I'll have to drive 6 hours back to Houston, just me and the Cassinator, AFTER the tri... so I'm still thinking about logistics... I know. Time is running out. *sigh*

I reached my minimum fundraising goal for the LiveSTRONG challenge and if any of Team Tri Diva is interested in Riding the end of October, I'm still up for having company. :)

Take care... I'll be back to my regularly scheduled posting by Wednesday!

New Blood

Well... crazy as it may be... I'm really jealous I missed out on the Danskin with you ladies this year... I read about Lesli and Courtney both making their decisions to enter the event, the jitters and the questions, injuries, fear... and I thought for some reason... I really want to do that.

But I was too scared to commit so soon... so here I am... standing on the brink... and training for my very own first spring tri in April of 2009 so that I can join you all at the finish line for Danskin Austin '09... and I have to admit, while I'm so excited about that... I could throw up too.

Let me also mention... I just bought my first road bike on Thursday night... so exciting and cute bike shop boys, oh yeah!

Olga(my trainer, yes, her name is Olga)... jinxed me the other day... she said you're not a bike rider until you take your first fall... and when you fall, get up, dust yourself off, get back on your bike and go... But if I'm admitting the truth, I was kind of hoping that all those falls I took as a kid on my bike would, you know... COUNT. I was laughing with my mom the other day about how it should be the older you get the harder you fall... she just laughed and said, yeah, and I've got 20 years on you... she doesn't do stupid things like go out on bikes though. She's a little more careful with her body... I don't know if I'll ever learn that.

So you should know that on my second ride, I took the first spill in many years... which was of course witnessed by the pedestrian I was trying to avoid... and who thought I was crazy when I pumped my arms in the air (after I laid on the ground for a second and took a mental inventory to see if anything was broken...) and yelled "THAT WAS MY FIRST FALL!" I feel like I joined a club or something...

But hey! I did... tri-divas! So... from a new member... I'm excited to train along with you all, mention my silly mistakes, learn from you all (especially about transitions!) and I look so forward to meeting all of you in Austin '09. (except Lesli!, I look forward to seeing you again, if not before!)

Here's to the ladies who Tri.

-Julie

Jersey Girls?

Good Morning Divas!

Donna mentioned the idea of a Team Tri Divas jersey. We could use a color scheme/font similar to the blog logo. They'll look great at Danskin Austin next year and we'll be able to rep the group in the individual events we do throughout the year. Hooray for team spirit! :) What do you think?

Hope you're all having a great weekend. To Phelpsie, go 'head with your bad self! 8 is GREAT!

I wanna be like Mike

Michael Phelps eats between 8 and 10 THOUSAND calories a day. Then again, he pretty much eats, sleeps, and swims. Still, I wanna be like Mike. *grins*

Ok, so, I probably will never be able to eat 8,000 calories a day -- can you imagine the amount of food?!?! -- I can still swim until I'm ready to eat my own arm off.

Today was my first time in the pool since my last training day before the Danskin. I can tell I've lost a little from not swimming for nearly a month. Now that I've gotten back in the pool, I've promised myself a month of daily pool workouts. I feel like I don't know how to get daily workouts back into my schedule. I did it for nearly 6 months -- why am I suddenly having problems?!?